Mindset

5 ways people try to break you

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One minute you’re a child with a best friend forever, the next you walk into a room full of people and assume only a handful are nice.

You truly grow up when you realise not everyone has your best interests. We are taught to always compete. We are labelled from a young age. The “clever one”, the “pretty one”, and the “funny one”.

It’s not about competing with the person opposite. You have to compete with yourself. Aim to be your best and you cannot do any more. Infact, if you compete against a person, you might win and then there will always be another.

Unfortunately, not everyone understands this concept; some people take their envy and twist it into negative malice. These are 5 ways people try to break you, and how to react with each one.

1. The belittling

You have just opened up about your dream job or some exciting news; this person doesn’t want you to feel too good. They decide to mock or talk down to you in an attempt to lower your esteem. I am all for sarcasm, but sometimes a false humour is used to cover how awful they are being.

Honestly, being such a dreamer, I am beyond used to this. I have experienced family and friends criticise my decisions and do so in a way that makes me feel stupid. Sometimes no one cares until they see you doing well, and then they want to throw in their comments.

What to do

Simply keep going. Don’t argue. Don’t defend yourself. You know what you are doing and what you want. In a world full of people with dreams on the back-burner, it speaks volume about your character that you aim high. The best way to revenge these comments is to do you. Even if your plans do not all work out, you will live knowing you lived to the full and believed in your heart. That’s a great life to have!

2. The copier

Not just a highschool phase, copying can stem from a sinister route. I’m not talking about a person being inspired by your work or wanting to buy jeans they have seen you worn. That’s rather complimenting.

I’m talking about that person who copies purely to compete. Everything you do, they do as well to try to beat you at it. I had a friend who would do this and even to this day, I’m sure she still does. If she is reading this, PLEASE STOP!

What to do

Firstly, if you have a friend that competitive, question whether they are actually your friend. Copying can be down to insecurity, so it’s important to know the difference. Truly, keep things to yourself. Don’t share information with a person not embracing your happiness. And don’t keep noticing. Just move on and focus on what you are doing. Worrying about others who do not care about you, is wasted energy. Besides, anyone copying and you are doing something right!

3. The bragger

In today’s world, do we all kind of brag? Again there is a difference with people who love sharing their life and people who love rubbing it towards you.

Not always related to boosting self-esteem, bragging can occur due to the need to make you feel bad. They may ask you a question first and make your answer appear inadequate, or they make a point of comparing lives, persuading yours to look insignificant.

What to do

Keep your tone the same. Why let them affect you and if they have, Why show them? Don’t fake happiness or pretend you are uninterested, just stick your usual reactions. Nothing gets to a bragger more than knowing their bragging is not effective.

4. Negative Nancy

Apologies if you are called Nancy and you are positive!

Negatives like putting a big minus next to all your goals. However big or small, a negative wants you to know how unrealistic your desires are.

Mainly down to envy, they fear you achieving and setting out to do what they are afraid of.

What to do

Well, avoid sharing your positivity. It’s tempting to counteract and stand up for yourself when someone doubts your capabilities; often this does not deter them. Don’t give them the option of deciding whether to crush your thoughts, share your passions with people who inspire them.

5. The judgemental/down talkers

The biggest, I have resentment towards you and want you to fail, in my opinion.

Judgement is one of the worst. Beyond hypocritical, people who make themselves feel better by making others feel ashamed.

Alongside this category is the down talkers. Not only do they criticise, react negatively and belittle, they make you feel wrong. They take on an superior role. They target your intelligence. Down talkers can be conceited, they can attack you whilst pretending they are innocent. You can end up questioning your confidence, then questioning why you are questioning it. Any questions?

What to do

This is the one where I believe you should stand up for yourself. There is no such thing as a perfect human. Whoever decides to criticise you, are already in the wrong.

Be stronger than their weak opinions. Down talk especially, why entertain it? Cut the conversation. Your ears deserve more!

How many of these have you experienced? Please comment below and thank you for reading.

 

 

 

 

 

22 thoughts on “5 ways people try to break you

  1. Great post! The older you get the easier it is to put these tips to use. As a child/teen/young adult, and still being impressionable and still trying to find your way, it is easy to get wrapped up with people who are these types, or even become these types. Not to say that adults can’t get wrapped up in all of these, as well.

    “Be stronger than their weak opinions. Down talk especially, why entertain it? Cut the conversation. Your ears deserve more!”

    I love this so much! Yes, your ears deserve so much more!

    Thank you for this wonderful post. Very insightful with great advice. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • I understand what you mean. Even going from my teenage years to now, I realised how impressionable I was and how I would easily get caught up with the wrong crowds. Thank you so much for taking the time to read and I’m happy you found it insightful.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I have probably experienced every scenario you have mentioned! It’s a sad truth of life, that we have to realize. Not everyone is going to care about you, and not everyone is nice. It used to bother me a lot, but with time, I have just learn to ignore the haters and stay strong! You give extremely great advice on how to just do you xxx

    Melina | http://www.ivefoundwaldo.com

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    • Thank you! It is a sad truth of life and what’s unfortunate is people seem to display these types of behaviors even when they are adults. You have to definitely stay strong in life and remember people’s actions say more about them then it does about you. xx

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  3. I loved your wise words; I agree, seeing that you won’t get along with everyone is part of growing up. I totally agree with you saying to ignore the copycats, it’s honestly a waste of your time. Great post!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I have met a few people in my life who is just purely toxic and an utter waste of time and energy to try and work with. Most of them just shows their dissatisfaction and talk behind my back without having the courage to say it to my face directly which I think is a very cowardly move. It’s true what you said regarding competition cause there are always going to be people out there who are better than you and if you base your self-esteem or achievements based on the number of people you have beaten, it’s very unhealthy mindset. Great post^^!
    Vanessa

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you Vanessa for reading my post and I’m glad you liked it! People that talk behind your back and speak negatively, are not only cowardly but are full of their own issues. I find it’s never about you as a person and more about them. I definitely believe self esteem has to come from within. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • it’s true! those who try to drag people down are the ones who are never truly happy and satisfied with who they are. So instead of trying to elevate themselves up, they bring other down because that’s probably much easier to do. I had a good read from your post, will definitely be tuning in cause you can never get enough positivity in your life:) Great job!

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  5. I love this post! I think I’ve experienced every one of them, and to be completely honest I’ve been guilty of doing some of those things too. I’m glad I’ve learned to check myself when I’m feeling a little too cocky or full of myself. Thank you for posting this! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Great tips and advice. I think I’ve experienced all of these. I even had a “friend” that never supported the things I did or complimented on anything, it was like she didn’t even acknowledge it until everyone else started to give me compliments and she’s just like “oh yeah when you gon make me one” smh. We’re no longer friends. I’ve seen a lot of people do these things to others as well.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Oh my god I have someone who does all of those things to me most of the time! It’s a big battle I have in a quest to remove them! Thanks for sharing and for all your helpful tips. The main thing I have been doing is stay calm and ignore as best I can to make sure I keep my inner peace. I can’t allow someone, anyone to destroy that! Xxxxx

    Liked by 1 person

    • I still have a family member that does these things and I used to have a best friend who continually competed and put me down. I learnt you can’t always control them, but the more you build yourself and find self happiness, the less you care. Sometimes you have to be cold turkey and cut them out. I understand the ignoring. Never allow someone to destroy your inner peace! You’re right. Xxxx

      Liked by 1 person

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