5 ways to deal with your jealousy and competitiveness


The green eyed monster can secretly lurk in many of us. It’s often not discussed enough, because no one wants to put their hand up and admit to this negative trait.

Before you decide to spill out your venom, or wreck your brain with mean thoughts; read my guide and ask yourself truthfully, if you can relate.

1.Work on you

When I did a post recently on how people try to break you, I was inundated with stories of people who have dealt with inappropriate, unexplained hate. My answer is always: it’s them with the issues and not you.

If you are feeling envious of someone, chances are, they are highlighting a quality that you secretly wish you could emulate. If you are jealous of a person’s body or career, you most-likely are wanting that for yourself.

Rather than waste time and energy being mad that so-and-so has what you want, put more belief in yourself and go after it as well.

2. Know that they have issues too

Years ago as a makeup artist assistant, my acne ridden – when did I last exercise body, felt ashamedly mad, working with these high-fashion models. Their skin was baby soft smooth; legs that could match a giraffe and bodies that could barely carve out an inch of fat.

I knew my job as an artist was to make the model feel good before they head to the photographer, yet secretly in my mind, I was analysing them. Breaking their beings into little pieces until I could find something to criticise – just to make myself feel better.

But really, did it make me feel better? Did knowing this model was stressed and panicky obsessed with her appearance, really give me a boost?

I know full well now, after years of working on a variety of different faces, that women in particular, need to build each other up. No matter how much you deem a person to confident with their looks, you are most likely wrong.

Even the tallest, strongest and smartest of us, suffer from the cruelty of low-self esteem. Never assume anything with anyone. We are all humans and we all have flaws.

3. Realise there will always be someone

Let’s say a woman comes into your life and she has your dream job. Not only that, she is dating a man who you conceive to be incredibly handsome. You decide to spend time conjuring up jealous thoughts, maybe hoping that she loses it all and you take it all from her.

Even if that does come true, there will be someone else. There will be another female with a more advanced career and perhaps in a relationship, where her other half whisks her away, like there’s no tomorrow.

You cannot conquer every person. Negative thoughts do not lead to positive steps. You are doing nothing but wasting your own precious life – wishing it all away, and feeling resentment to a person that is probably sweet, and has done nothing to deserve your hostility.

4. Admit your feelings

Don’t go to someone with an over-inflated ego and praise them some more. Who wants to do that?

In seriousness, consider being honest and admitting that you are frustrated with where you are, and you can’t help but admit that you yearn for whatever attribute it is, that they might have.

Chances are, if you open up to a genuine friend or person, they will offer you support and advice. They may even tell you their own insecurities and what they appreciate in you.

5. Embrace you and your competition

It’s ok to have these jealous/competitive thoughts. It’s learning to not act on them, and rather to work on them.

Instead of beating down this person you compete with, try complimenting them. As you compliment them, compliment yourself.

Find the good in you. Good thoughts and praise, is a far superior outlook, than any unfavourable opinions simmering. The more happiness you welcome into your life, the less time you have to focus on hatred.

What’s your experience with jealous/competitive behavior? Can you admit to it?



13 thoughts on “5 ways to deal with your jealousy and competitiveness

  1. Jealousy…such an ugly feeling but on the other side… maybe its there for a reason?
    This was a very interesting post. Thank you for sharing! I absolutely love your photo!
    Have a lovely day dear!
    Ven’s Wife Style

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Very well put and some good advice 😄
    I feel like I used to be very jealous of others growing up, but over the past few years I’ve grown a lot and gotten confident in myself. Now I look at others through supportive eyes rather than competitive 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Wonderfully written post! I used be jealous of many things but I’ve outgrown my weaknesses. From time to time I catch myself wanting things I can’t have and I try to fuel these sort of feelings into becoming better and work harder.
    Thanks so much for this post! Lets follow each other.
    Love from https://tbymallano.com/

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you for taking the time to read! It’s amazing that you have outgrown your weaknesses because many people still struggle. I think it’s human to want things you can’t have, but taking that energy and fueling it into your work, is the best way possible. X

      Liked by 1 person

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