The struggle to be sexy and comfy at the same time

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The only women who seem to be fortunate enough, to sing Beyonce’s “I woke up like this”, with meaning, is the French.

They can wear minimal makeup, have hair as wild as the wind, dress as simplistic as a zebra who everyday wears stripes – black and white – as the French prefer, and have this entire laid back appeal, summed up as sexy.

It’s not a movement or a new generational revolution, it’s a stereotypical way of life. And to all those who are not French, be prepared to be educated, on how to be like them; whilst you are shown tips on how to stop being lazy, and start practicing more glamour.

It’s a perpetual way of life for women. Told one thing – shown another. How often do you put the phrase comfy and sexy together? Do you ever go out, and tell your partner, “you are in for a treat. I have put on my comfy dress”.


The only time when a women may be able to achieve this combination, is when they up in the morning. Preferably, of course, after morning sex. There is a feeling that, when the sun comes up, your partner can lovingly admire your physique, as you slip on a scruffy vest, or a body hiding shirt.

With friends, or when out in society, we almost feel ‘rubbish’, if we have decided to not face the world with full glamour. Even worse, when the person you are meeting, has come prepared – lacquered nails; hair so glossy – it looks like a piece of the sun, has landed into their roots.

Some say sexy equals glamour, because it shows the person cares about their appearance. Comfy does not have to equate to a reckless attitude however, just ask the French. It’s not so much that I am declarative that ballet pumps can look as fabulous as heels, or I wish that women could go out without much makeup; why does a women have to dress up, to the point of feeling uncomfortable, in order to feel alluring?



On this photoshoot, the look centred around waking up in the morning. Everything is soft. My requirement was to come as natural as possible; to create something sexy and artistic.

Natural, is usually associated with a portrayal of innocence or vulnerability. My brief puzzled me like a maths equation. I suffer from insecurity, but cannot say I am insecure. I can’t say the confusement, came from a lack of confidence. It ventured from the notion, that my entire life, sexy was a red lip – a sultry eye.

Despite at times, my outfits peaking to reveal my body, I can say, I felt comfortable. I felt comfortable in the outfits. Yes, I was not wearing “fat pants”, or a tent that covered me. Nevertheless, I was not wearing lace underwear or low-cut tops. I felt comfy, showing what I was happy to show, without the pressure of a woman’s magazine, telling me to put on the highest heels, or straighten/curl my hair. With that, the photographer found the rawness, that he was searching for.

If the French can educate on us anything, it’s that sexy and comfy, can be anything. It can be a low-cut dress, or a done up jacket with trousers. We can take their self-confidence – the declaration that they dress for their shape, and dress for our attitude. Instead of forcing ourselves, we should ask; does this make me feel good? If the answer is yes, wear it, and wear it with pride. That’s how sexy and comfy, can be possible, at the same time.

Do you agree? What do you do, if anything, to look sexy?

Photography credit: Robert Billings

13 thoughts on “The struggle to be sexy and comfy at the same time

  1. I was like you, I always feel when I’m done up I look my best. I like having my hair done, my makeup done, and my cute revealing tops. I don’t feel uncomfortable when I dress like that, because I feel comfortable in my body. I would love to feel sexy in my everyday naturalness though! Something to work towards I guess? Great post xxx

    Melina |

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts. What I was trying to say as well, is sometimes the media tells us that men prefer women natural, and how hot is to be natural, and have this relaxed style. At the same time, there is major pressure to show skin and to look a certain way. I remember trying to walk in ridiculous heels, spending over an hour on makeup and not always because I wanted too – more so, because I felt that would make me more sexy.
      I agree, something to work towards.I think it’s having the option to feel sexy regardless right. I really appreciate your comment. xxx

      Liked by 3 people

  2. I feel sexy when I am dressed up with my hair and makeup looking good. 😉 However, I have noticed that men find me more sexy, and more beautiful when I’m wearing jeans, t-shirt, sneakers and makeup-free. I am at the age where I dress and put on makeup to make ME feel better; I don’t much care what others think.

    Sexy to me is confidence. I’m confident in my appearance and that makes me feel sexy. 🙂

    You look comfortable and confident in your comfort. THAT is sexy.

    Awesome post with gorgeous photos!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you Cherilyn for commenting. I always love reading your thoughts. I think that’s a great way to be, and I think it’s a shame that more people don’t dress just for themselves.
      Confidence really does equal sexy. Sometimes I have tried to look sexy, wearing something I felt awkward in and it didn’t work.
      Thank you for reading!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Confidence in my opinion, oozes pure sexiness. When I am working from home for example, I like to dress well, not coat myself in makeup but just wear comfortable yet stylish clothing. It just makes me feel, well self-assured 😊 xxxxxxx

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I enjoyed reading your post! It made me think of what I find comfortable and what I find sexy, and I think I agree with you as you made some really interesting points.
    I guess… I believe that every clothes can be sexy, as long as we think its sexy…so for example if you think your ripped jeans are sexy…suddenly they will become sexy (power of mind…I guess). I hope this makes sense 🙂

    Vens Wife Style

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you for taking the time to read. What you said completely makes sense and I agree.
      Sometimes I think, people go along with expectations. I know with me, I can worry about looking too casual or too dressed up, instead of just going with what I feel good in.


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