Trying to stay high


Experiencing low-self esteem, reminds me of alcohol. Instead of simply drinking however, you have to keep working, because it is all too easy to go back to feeling down again, or in this case – sober.

I have somewhat managed to figure out a solution. Mostly, it involves taking care of myself and doing little things, like up keeping the look of my nails. I know it only takes a couple of ‘bad’ food days, for me to welcome in self-doubt.

I blame it on my perfectionism. This constant need for everything to be a certain way. Even when I look at other people’s Instagram’s or their summer outfits, it’s not so much that I feel jealous, more so, ashamed of myself that I cannot recreate the same.

I can be confident and I can pretend confidence, in a shoot with a photographer with whom I trust. I think most of us live that way; faking it till we make it. Especially when it comes to anything social; we dress up our photos and forge our happiness.

We easily however, can be one drink away from slipping up, or one thought away from being in a rut. Staying high is like a job in itself. As I nearly fell into deep insecurity again, I thought about the work that goes in, to just being positive. Not everyone wakes up naturally happy.


It is almost shameful to admit your bad esteem, unless you are now referring to what a transformation that you have gone through. But there will forever be times in my life, when I am being too critical. Times when I am speaking too negatively and not following my usual, motivating attitude on life.

Embrace it sometimes though. Don’t be afraid to open up and to have room for vulnerability. People will either take comfort in your pain, or they will attempt to make you feel good again. Be that as it may, you are the one who has to really battle to feel good – even alcohol’s high cannot help you with that.

What do you do, when you feel self doubt? Would you say staying positive, is something that comes natural to you, or something that you work at?



19 thoughts on “Trying to stay high

  1. As a perfectionist and without a doubt my worst critic, I can relate to this on so many levels! It’s such a shame but staying positive really is a full-time job because we are always striving to be our very best and even that doesn’t satisfy us sometimes! But truthfully, we really need to lessen the pressure we put on ourselves and love we are! Like I said on your last post, you are such a beautiful person inside and out! Keep staying positive beauty!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you Ciarra and equally – you are beautiful inside and out. I’m a perfectionist and my worst critic as well. Even when I know I have done everything possible, I can then question all the alternatives. We definitely need to lower the pressure otherwise we will never be satisfied. Xo


  2. It’s bravery to admit about faking it to you make it. A lot of us do this but don’t admit it. I was the same and still am most of the time. I try to post positive things, encourage and inspire people but I guess I don’t always take my own advice. I’m definitely working on staying more positive. It’s not possible to be positive and happy every moment of life but feeling down and low about so many moments are no good.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I don’t think many people take their own advice. I am a far more positive person than I was, so I feel that I have a lot to share. But I do get those moments where I question everything.
      You have brilliant advice and you are always an inspiration. Maybe you don’t give yourself enough credit. 💖

      Liked by 1 person

      • I do get people tell me that often. but I do feel the same, that I’m far more positive than I was even just last year, and through all of the things experienced and the way that I see things I have a lot to share. And questioning everything, I do that all the time. You have to with some things but definitely not everything. That’s something I need to work on and giving myself more credit. Thank you💖

        Liked by 1 person

  3. I think it’s really hard to try and be positive all the time, I’m currently going through the same thing but about a relationship. Struggling to try and pick myself up and see the good things about it ending instead of reaching for some wine to blot out the pain for a while but it’s a constant battle xxxxz

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I definitely relate to this. Staying happy is certainly a full time job. I wouldn’t necessarily say that I wake up happy, although mornings are usually my most happy time. I’m usually up early and I’m energized and motivated, and there’s nothing I like more than a slow, pleasant morning with my bf, so yes I usually wake up happy. People might envy me until I tell them that my happiness, mood, even confidence all start dipping around noon, and then it’s like a constant battle to build myself up again. I will say that making sure I’m taking care of myself does help. Eating healthier and getting some exercise does wonders for how I feel inside and out. Being outside helps a lot, and so does relaxing and doing fun things. But I also need to make sure I’m working, too, otherwise the feeling of falling behind or being lazy just push me down even farther. It’s hard to maintain balance, but that’s how I do it. Definitely “faking it til I make it” for sure.

    Once again, excellent post, and thanks for sharing so many deep and personal thoughts 🙂

    -Helene ❤

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you for taking the time to leave such thoughtful comments. I saw your new post on my reader so I’m going to dedicate time purely for going through your blog!
      I wake up happy in the morning as well. There’s so much promise and opportunity for the day. But my noon, I feel my energy dip and it’s a little fight to remain positive and motivated.
      Exercising and eating healthy really does helps. The minute I over indulge or quit working out, I feel incredibly fatigued.
      I’m glad you spoke about this because not many people do. X

      Liked by 1 person

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