These photos were taken from a shoot a couple of weeks ago – hence the long hair.
With my birthday next Saturday, I have been reflecting over the past year and what have I accomplished and perhaps failed at, since turning 24. One sentiment in my mind is the change in my self-esteem.
People assume me as confident and self-assured. I have written blog posts before discussing in detail the differences in me now, as oppose to a year ago. Whilst I do consider myself confident and far more positive, I am not a robot and I do still go through days of deep insecurity. I guess now, I can exercise and generally get myself out of the blues without living with it daily.
Even the most confident can have bouts of crumbles. I used to never discuss this because I worried whether people would find it confusing how someone can write about loving yourself and then delve into their struggles.
One main cause for doubt is photography. Images have never been so prominent. It is amazing how one person’s Instagram or image can send us wild with worry and uncertainly about our own appearances. It is irrelevant; we do not care if the photo has been edited, filtered – perhaps smoothed, the minute we see a person look (in our eyes) incredible, we are perplexed with ourselves.
A photo does not tell a thousand words; a photo can do the exact opposite. Sometimes I feel great and if I am shooting with a wonderful photographer, I have fun and my daring alter-ego plunges out. Other times, I simply squeeze in my stomach, remember my angles and rely on good lighting. And of course, I do not receive the ‘bad’ snaps. The one’s were my body might look out of proportion or my eyes are not open.
We never really know if someone is happy as the lens clicks. My friend shocked me as he revealed that one of his best friends – a tall, beautiful model, is the most insecure woman that he has ever met. Looking at her, you would believe she just breathes glamour.
Despite me playing a miniscule part in the photography movement – my Instagram and my blog, we have to remember that wealthy, beautiful celebrities – stars that have paid for an array of the greatest beauty treatments available and have the best team’s possible, still go on set with a genius photographer and still get edited, manipulated and picked apart. With all their help, only a few images from the set make the magazine.
I am not suggesting that we should not edit photos – I cannot deny that I never edit mine, neither am I suggesting that we should be critical of photos that have been edited. Instead, we should stop comparing our social-media and pictures and stop pitting our phone snaps, against a professionals. Photography is supposed to be fun and in-depth; we are supposed to notice more than how flawless a person’s skin looks. This is a lesson that I hope that I can really learn when I turn 25. We never really know what thoughts lurk behind the lens.
What are your views? Do you ever feel insecure looking at other images and do you feel pressure when you are in photos?