Why my vacation made me change my life

girl in swimsuit on beach

Is it a complete cliché to say that my holiday taught me to relax?

Before leaving, I had more steam in me than a sauna. My last-minute shopping trip felt like a bustling market with me buzzing around desperate to grab what was left of the summer stock. I am not a blog-post organiser and my words tend to spur creativity when the thoughts are fresh in my mind. I barely had the time to check my blog comments; I had emails that my plane ride would not delay.

As soon as I arrived, I felt the need to keep up-to-date with the online world. Of course, my access in to Facebook was playing up as my phone had not been logged in before with my new blog page account. I had nothing to work on. In the haze of that thought, for the first since January this year – I let go.

I hid everything – a part from my Instagram as I knew I would want to track my holiday – how many other times can I document me in Ibiza?

If you are unaware, I am a self-confessed perfectionist. I scrutinise myself like a therapist or an exam board; I can always do better and I am never quite doing enough. As my blog has rapidly increased views and follows over the past few months, I found myself in fear that the momentum would vanish. I was somehow on a fluke and if I dare wrote the wrong thing, I would be written off in the same way that an artist can be forgotten about, once a new one recreates their song.

Girl in swimsuit by sea

My vacation was a type of therapy. Not just to get away and focus on the issues of – what should we do today? And what cocktail should I buy? – But to take a pause and reevaluate. As mine and my sister’s relationship continued to grow, we had more analytical, honest conversations. Despite my belief in self-love, perhaps there is still a bug inside spewing insecurity. Perhaps I am too sensitive and leap-frog to conclusions.

Maybe I get too caught up in worrying about every other person’s perspective, without really questioning mine. Forcing me to be free and less confined, I danced in a crowd where people were standing, I covered up from head-to-toe in a club where everybody wanted to reveal skin and I took risks that I would usually shy away from.

Returning home was painful – the signs of a good trip abroad. Previously – for instance, after Miami – I entered my house and prepared to get on with life whilst enthusiastically pursuing my dreams. This time, I felt lost in a blur of confusion. It was not the rain giving me window pain or the cold suffocating my body that made me yearn to head back to the beaches and views. There was no excitement.

Girl in white swimsuit by sea

Despite loving Lauzies lifestyle and appreciating what opportunities I have been given, there was no motivation to type. I figured it was an indication that my life is not water – clearly flowing. I knew that the stress-free adventurous week would be switched with bouts of anxiety and self-made stress. It is no wonder that I wanted to bury in to hiding.

Do you ever get so comfortable with your life, that only when removed from it, you comprehend that something is missing?

In contempt of leaving my blog for 11 days, views decreased naturally. Nevertheless, it was there. All the pressure to continue to spur new ideas and posts – 11 days later and it was perfectly fine.

My mind solely keeps eye on my future, leading me to almost forget to enjoy the present. I think in order to work hard; we teach ourselves that we must perform until we are run-down and sipping lemsip tea. If we have fun now, are we actually doing what we can to really laugh in the next 5 or 10 years?

Girl in sea Ibiza

The answer is yes. It is ok and in fact welcoming, to walk away and live. In theory, all we have is the present – everything else is fantasised or made up. So while I aim high and push myself to be the best that I can, Ibiza educated me on the here and now. I have to learn my limits and grasp that worry or fear, do not have to be a part of the daily struggles to make it.

In addition to taking on a relaxed approach, I have made the decision to go on a vegan diet; spending this past week editing my food choices. There are various changes I am making and if all goes to plan, I will write an update.

Ultimately, travel is one sector of living and for the months that you are not away, experiences alongside adventures, can continue to come into play.

Have you ever gone on holiday and came back different? Do you feel that you over-worry or stress about aspects of your life?

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29 thoughts on “Why my vacation made me change my life

  1. I completely understand where you are coming from. When I left to go to Singapore last month I felt stressed as hell. I literally felt that being on the other side of the world was comforting, I didn’t have crazy pressures. When I got back I was a bit lost, what did I do now? It took me a while to find my feet again xxxx

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Wow! That was some powerful reading Laura!
    I do think that is why they said travel broadens the mind. It gives you time to step back and to simply think of whatever comes into your head. I don’t think its to unusual to feel this way, if anything i would say the holiday worked!!
    Good luck with the vegan diet, looking forward to hearing how you get on with it!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you! I will do a post when I fully get my head around it. So far the veganism is going well, but the struggle will probably come when eating out.
      I also think travel just introduces you to new people. I guess London is nice because everyone is so unique, but when away you come across people who live completely different lives. The holiday worked although I am now more desperate than ever to go on another – and then another :P. xxx

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      • I can imagine, eating out on most diets is a huge struggle! I suffer with this the most.
        I really wanna go more veggie and see how I get on. It’s just hard finding nice filling recipes… Where do you find yours?

        Ahh yes the travel bug! Its normal i swear…. 🙂 xxx

        Liked by 1 person

        • There is not much variety in cafe’s. Places like Eat and Pret charge a fortune just for a sandwich and drink. Or some salad which is not filling and comes with a sugary sauce.
          I will get a post down this week on a plant-based diet.
          I am going to post a health article later today but I do not have enough images yet to write about recipes lol. xxx

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  3. I’ve always had the travel bug. I almost never want to go back, but when I went on my cruise in June and Costa Rica last month, it was so odd. I felt like I came back a new person. I can completely relate to what you’re talking about. I have to say that I don’t think you’re ever going to lose the momentum of being an amazing blogger. Your posts always inspire me in some sort of way, as I assume it does to others. You were made to be amazing at whatever you set your mind to, and just cause you take a little break, doesn’t mean that that is going to change xxx

    Melina |

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you Melina! Your comment made me smile. When I came back I did look at my blog and think – why were you worrying? There is a blogging pressure to be constantly active 24/7 but occasionally it is nice to not write or blog.
      Both of your holidays looked absolutely incredible so I am not surprised at all that you came back feeling like a new person. Hopefully the feeling will continue to last and the new perspective is permanent – which I am sure it will be! xxx

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  4. I think when we come back from somewhere different, it is an indication of having lived that time to the fullest 🙂
    I too juggle through the thought process of what if I lose all I have or miss out on more, if I change my routine for a while. Thankfully I could always leave those nagging doubts behind and really be present in life at that time. Works out better for the peace of mind and also being open for new possibilities. I enjoyed how you shared your experience truthfully, gives me the joy of resonance.

    Liked by 1 person

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